Sister in law help or advice needed

Convicted Driver Insurance
My sister in law is an alcoholic, so bad that she has developed wernickes korsakoff which is an alcoholic dementia. This was 5 years ago. She lives with her husband 100s of miles from her family and she's been drink driving for years and years. We have tried everything to stop her, but she has a friend who keeps helping her with money and even goes as far as to pay to have her car fixed after a drunken crash.
We have anonymously reported it to the police including her reg but nothing is ever done.
Her husband tries to stop her but gets physically abused.
We have no money no means as a family to help or pay for treatment and its even harder she won't admit she has a problem. The dementia means she don't even remember it happened etc. She should not be driving at all.
Finally she was caught Monday night, and blew 136 over 100ml of breath I'm not sure what that means.
She has had loads of running with the police.over last few months and court appearances due to the abuse on her husband, but.nothing previous for drink driving.
She has court on the 17th June, although she had.no idea of the date and thinks she's going to get away with a fine because of her mental capacity (it's worked previously with the abuse cases)
Does anyone know.what is likely to happen. Of course we want her licence taken away, and if this happens does this mean she can't get insurance as we are certain she will try to drive again.
Her husband.doesnt speak to us (he has some.mental health issues also and has recovered from being an alcoholic).
It's a nightmare.
Will this mean she's.offered more.help? In the past the police don't seem to want to deal with it or refer her, they just send her to live with her friend who is fuelling the drinking and giving her.money etc.
Due to her mental health issues she will flat out deny she has a drinking problem and is very convincing at being 'compus mentus' as they say.
 

Forum Moderator

Staff member
My sister in law is an alcoholic, so bad that she has developed wernickes korsakoff which is an alcoholic dementia. This was 5 years ago. She lives with her husband 100s of miles from her family and she's been drink driving for years and years. We have tried everything to stop her, but she has a friend who keeps helping her with money and even goes as far as to pay to have her car fixed after a drunken crash.
We have anonymously reported it to the police including her reg but nothing is ever done.
Her husband tries to stop her but gets physically abused.
We have no money no means as a family to help or pay for treatment and its even harder she won't admit she has a problem. The dementia means she don't even remember it happened etc. She should not be driving at all.
Finally she was caught Monday night, and blew 136 over 100ml of breath I'm not sure what that means.
She has had loads of running with the police.over last few months and court appearances due to the abuse on her husband, but.nothing previous for drink driving.
She has court on the 17th June, although she had.no idea of the date and thinks she's going to get away with a fine because of her mental capacity (it's worked previously with the abuse cases)
Does anyone know.what is likely to happen. Of course we want her licence taken away, and if this happens does this mean she can't get insurance as we are certain she will try to drive again.
Her husband.doesnt speak to us (he has some.mental health issues also and has recovered from being an alcoholic).
It's a nightmare.
Will this mean she's.offered more.help? In the past the police don't seem to want to deal with it or refer her, they just send her to live with her friend who is fuelling the drinking and giving her.money etc.
Due to her mental health issues she will flat out deny she has a drinking problem and is very convincing at being 'compus mentus' as they say.

A conviction of driving with excess alcohol and a breath test reading that is nearly 4 times over the legal limit at 136 is not going to result in just a fine.

Sentencing guidelines suggest a 29 - 36 month driving disqualification and a high level community order or up to 26 weeks custody upon conviction with an evidential breath test reading of 136.

Your sister in law will also be classed as a high risk offender who will need to take and pass a DVLA medical before her driving licence is returned to her upon expiration of any driving disqualification.

The DVLA medical for high risk offenders is in place to help prevent people who are dependent on or misuse alcohol from regaining their licence until they address their alcohol issues.
 
Thats good to hear. Personally we wanted her to be put into some kind of rehab program from all this. I don't know how she will be capable of doing a community order with her mental health issues. I would love to see her made to do something, it may get her off the drink. I'm just happy she's been caught and is no longer a risk to anyone on the roads.
 

Recovered22

Well-known member
Thats good to hear. Personally we wanted her to be put into some kind of rehab program from all this. I don't know how she will be capable of doing a community order with her mental health issues. I would love to see her made to do something, it may get her off the drink. I'm just happy she's been caught and is no longer a risk to anyone on the roads.

There is a rehab in Northern Ireland that is £70 per week for 12 weeks. It is the rehab that I attended, when I was there we had plenty of men and women who had come from England to seek treatment. The only caveat is that it is run by the church and there is a bit of mass and praying involved every few days but you do not have to participate in the religious side of things. I sat at the back of every service and was never pulled on it once. They deliver the same programme they deliver in €40k rehab programs in the republic of ireland. If you would like any details at all please send me a private message. I'll be 4 years sober in August thanks to that programme.
 
There is a rehab in Northern Ireland that is £70 per week for 12 weeks. It is the rehab that I attended, when I was there we had plenty of men and women who had come from England to seek treatment. The only caveat is that it is run by the church and there is a bit of mass and praying involved every few days but you do not have to participate in the religious side of things. I sat at the back of every service and was never pulled on it once. They deliver the same programme they deliver in €40k rehab programs in the republic of ireland. If you would like any details at all please send me a private message. I'll be 4 years sober in August thanks to that programme.
That's amazing Recovered, and really good to know, however wouldn't be any good to us, as my sister in law has wernickes korsakoff which is a form of dementia brought on by alcohol. She doesn't believe she has a problem, nor a disability. It's so hard to find her help. We've been trying for years.
The service you describe would probably not be geared up to treat her along with her mental health issues. How do you help someone that doesn't believe they need it
 

Norts

Well-known member
That's amazing Recovered, and really good to know, however wouldn't be any good to us, as my sister in law has wernickes korsakoff which is a form of dementia brought on by alcohol. She doesn't believe she has a problem, nor a disability. It's so hard to find her help. We've been trying for years.
The service you describe would probably not be geared up to treat her along with her mental health issues. How do you help someone that doesn't believe they need it
Unfortunately you can't! The first thing someone in that position needs to do is realise that they need help. When I came off the drink (after my 2nd DD conviction) I knew I was in a bad place with booze. I got a weeks course of Librium from my GP. I then got rid of every drop of alcohol from the house. I also gave my partner my bank card when she went to work, so I couldn't just nip to the shop as soon as she left the house. The first two weeks off the drink were horrendous. After that it was a lot easier. I got my girlfriend to take photos of me every week, in my undies stood against a blank background. The change after a month was pretty surprising! Bottom line is, your relative needs to realise that there's a problem that needs addressing before you can even start the process.
 

jamesbrown1

Well-known member
Your story is pretty horrendous. The only positive is she's now been caught, with a reading like that and all the connected health issues she has she is highly unlikely to legally drive a car for a long time. Just hope she gets the help she clearly needs. Apart from her 'friend' who really isn't helping by continually bailing her out financially it doesn't sound like she has much of a support structure. Hopefully that will change when she begins the process of getting her licence returned. The trouble is, from what you say, she has no intention of changing. I just hope she never injurers anyone - or worse.
 
Your story is pretty horrendous. The only positive is she's now been caught, with a reading like that and all the connected health issues she has she is highly unlikely to legally drive a car for a long time. Just hope she gets the help she clearly needs. Apart from her 'friend' who really isn't helping by continually bailing her out financially it doesn't sound like she has much of a support structure. Hopefully that will change when she begins the process of getting her licence returned. The trouble is, from what you say, she has no intention of changing. I just hope she never injurers anyone - or worse.
I doubt she will ever get her licence returned and we hope she doesn't. She has dementia. So shouldn't be driving anyway.
The dementia doesn't help with regards to her admitting to her problems. She's in court tomorrow morning.
She got arrested again 3 nights ago for beating up her husband again. A few hours in a cell and released back to her friend who then took her home the next day to husband. Its a nightmare.
 

hatatty

Banned
I doubt she will ever get her licence returned and we hope she doesn't. She has dementia. So shouldn't be driving anyway.
The dementia doesn't help with regards to her admitting to her problems. She's in court tomorrow morning.
She got arrested again 3 nights ago for beating up her husband again. A few hours in a cell and released back to her friend who then took her home the next day to husband. Its a nightmare.
So, are you the person in question or the partner of the said person ? you are obviously one or the other ? but which ? sometimes honesty is a difficult road, but it is the first step
 
So, are you the person in question or the partner of the said person ? you are obviously one or the other ? but which ? sometimes honesty is a difficult road, but it is the first step
As stated in my first post, she's my sister in law. Are you drunk? What a silly comment
 

hatatty

Banned
As stated in my first post, she's my sister in law. Are you drunk? What a silly comment
Look, don't take this the wrong way and i accept you are detailing all of this in the third person, but you can walk away from all of this, if it is not your life and your sister in law is not some kind of svengali figure why ? are you really bothered. As i said, sometimes honesty is the first step, you need to have a start point, your start point does not make sense
 
I think
Look, don't take this the wrong way and i accept you are detailing all of this in the third person, but you can walk away from all of this, if it is not your life and your sister in law is not some kind of svengali figure why ? are you really bothered. As i said, sometimes honesty is the first step, you need to have a start point, your start point does not make sense
I think you need to be honest with yourself. I can walk away yes, however, I have a partner that is worried about thier sister and so I came.on here to get an idea of what kind of repercussions she may receive as a result of her being caught drink driving along with her mental health. I've read your reply to messages on this forum, sadly none are particularly helpful. I feel your very lonely and maybe enjoy spending your time answering people with nonsense. Very sad if you ask me. Anyway I probably won't and hopefully won't need to visit this site again as she's in court as we speak, so will hopefully be hearing her fate shortly.

Sad sad person, I feel for you. I truly hope you find friends and manage to spend more time getting out and about enjoying life than spilling unhelpful drivvel to people on this website

Have a beautiful day.
 

hatatty

Banned
I think

I think you need to be honest with yourself. I can walk away yes, however, I have a partner that is worried about thier sister and so I came.on here to get an idea of what kind of repercussions she may receive as a result of her being caught drink driving along with her mental health. I've read your reply to messages on this forum, sadly none are particularly helpful. I feel your very lonely and maybe enjoy spending your time answering people with nonsense. Very sad if you ask me. Anyway I probably won't and hopefully won't need to visit this site again as she's in court as we speak, so will hopefully be hearing her fate shortly.

Sad sad person, I feel for you. I truly hope you find friends and manage to spend more time getting out and about enjoying life than spilling unhelpful drivvel to people on this website

Have a beautiful day.
i hate to say this, but there becomes a point when you have to be honest, not just with yourself but everybody you are towing along in tandem aka your like buddies, i'd love to agree with you that i am a lonely sad sad person, to be honest i've got a week off work and cut the grass on monday so at a bit of a loose end really and just thought i would give my tuppence
 
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