Leilla
New Member
Married 42 years. For many years he hardly drank at all. Would drink water at parties after 2 glasses wine and would never entertain drinking & driving. Then he started drinking heavier about 10 years ago for no apparent reason. He is now a bad tempered, argumentative, moody, lying drunk. I cannot believe that anyone can change their personality so drastically. He was self employed for 38 years and had to give that up when he got his first ban of 12 months. He never gave up drinking and occasionally helps me in my business, but I can't leave him alone or trust him to do a job on his own. He got his second ban 6 years later again for 12 months.
The only person who has been punished is me. I have to do all the driving, I also am now responsible for looking after his 97 year old mother who lives 8 miles from us and has to be visited twice a day. I have to do her shopping, take her for hospital and doctors appointments and because I have to be there I clean her house, do her washing and her garden...all jobs my husband used to be able to go and do on his own while I was working my own business.
He took no responsibility for the dui's and after a farce of a medical (which extended his ban by 4 weeks because it took so long to organise and get the results) he got his licence back and despite ridiculous promises is STILL drinking and driving. He hasn't even gone 1 day since being stopped without drinking and doesn't see the problem. Today I was going out in my car and saw him turn the corner into our road and drive away in the opposite direction. I followed him and soon realised there was a police car parked in our road. When I stopped him the smell of drink coming off him was overpowering but of course he denied drinking and he denied that he had driven into our road at all..I was seeing things (again)
I took the car keys off him when he came home and went out in my car taking his keys with me. He went out on his bike to the nearest Spar and bought drink. When I got home he could hardly stand up and was ranting for his car keys...which he didn't get. He has now gone to bed in a raving temper telling me what a bad wife I am and a liar and it's all my fault (of course.)
My business is suffering, I am losing money because I can't concentrate and I lost 2 contracts this week. We have no savings because he has drunk them all away and I have no family that I can go to. The house is in his name (that was how it was done 45 years ago!) and he'd never leave.
All I really care about is stopping him drink driving. I have threatened to call the police but he knows I wouldn't 'cos next time he'll go to prison and the shame would kill his mother..I have to spare her that.
I have no idea what to do any more. I have tried everything. This man built our house, fixed our cars, landscaped our garden, built a very successful business and was a good kind loving husband for 30 years.....what the hell happened?????
The only person who has been punished is me. I have to do all the driving, I also am now responsible for looking after his 97 year old mother who lives 8 miles from us and has to be visited twice a day. I have to do her shopping, take her for hospital and doctors appointments and because I have to be there I clean her house, do her washing and her garden...all jobs my husband used to be able to go and do on his own while I was working my own business.
He took no responsibility for the dui's and after a farce of a medical (which extended his ban by 4 weeks because it took so long to organise and get the results) he got his licence back and despite ridiculous promises is STILL drinking and driving. He hasn't even gone 1 day since being stopped without drinking and doesn't see the problem. Today I was going out in my car and saw him turn the corner into our road and drive away in the opposite direction. I followed him and soon realised there was a police car parked in our road. When I stopped him the smell of drink coming off him was overpowering but of course he denied drinking and he denied that he had driven into our road at all..I was seeing things (again)
I took the car keys off him when he came home and went out in my car taking his keys with me. He went out on his bike to the nearest Spar and bought drink. When I got home he could hardly stand up and was ranting for his car keys...which he didn't get. He has now gone to bed in a raving temper telling me what a bad wife I am and a liar and it's all my fault (of course.)
My business is suffering, I am losing money because I can't concentrate and I lost 2 contracts this week. We have no savings because he has drunk them all away and I have no family that I can go to. The house is in his name (that was how it was done 45 years ago!) and he'd never leave.
All I really care about is stopping him drink driving. I have threatened to call the police but he knows I wouldn't 'cos next time he'll go to prison and the shame would kill his mother..I have to spare her that.
I have no idea what to do any more. I have tried everything. This man built our house, fixed our cars, landscaped our garden, built a very successful business and was a good kind loving husband for 30 years.....what the hell happened?????