Full of regret and anxious.

Convicted Driver Insurance

regretfulsoul

Active member
Hi to all reading this thread,

I will try to keep my paragraphs not so lengthy but at the same time try covering the points of what’s playing on my mind.I’m just wanting to rant and let it out as no one knows my situation but me.

We are all probably using this site for some sort of comfort or answers because the anxiety of knowing court is coming up and the chances of your license being gone for a while is high.

Wrong place, wrong time is how I can put my situation in the simplest way but I have no one to really blame but myself as I still chose to be behind the wheel. No one was hurt or no other car was collided. I just ended up hurting my own self and damaging my own car. So the person who’s suffering is myself but I should of known better.

My insurance is voided which means whatever I paid for the car is fully gone as the car is a write off so there was no other choice but to just let the compound crush it. I had to then pay on top to cancel my insurance but again there’s no one to blame but myself.

Money comes and goes but life doesn’t so I need to be grateful in a way because when I say the car was a write off I mean it and someone could of easily been there so imagine that. Sends shivers down me!

ANYWAYS back to the actual reason I’m writing.
Day by day my anxiety is getting worse and I’m growing hatred towards myself for my silly mistake as I worked so hard to get my license and save up for a car etc and for ONE stupid mistake I blew it. I crashed and someone reported it and only when speaking to the officer he then wanted to breathalyse me and I was 61.

I was going to go private with a solicitor but what’s the point when I did plead guilty so I’m just going to have to stick to a duty solicitor but I’m just so scared. I work in health and social and I’m SO SO SO terrified that what if my name and area goes on the local news because they do, do that. I have also moved away from home because of previous issues and if I’m on the local news with my name that will cause such safe guarding issues as my families faith they don’t accept alcohol. Is there nothing I can say in court or get my solicitor to do that could prevent this. Another thing that’s giving me such anxiety is needing to do the extended course if I get the ban which I probably will. It was so hard for me to pass there’s no way I could do an extended course. Also how would I ask for the rehab course? If I was 59 I would of got 12 months but I blew 61 so I could get like 18 months! There’s so much more things that’s keeping me off work and isolated but I will get into that once I start getting replies.

If you’ve made it this far. Thanks for listening to me rant x
 

Penbull78

New member
You are not the first to be caught drink driving and you won’t be the last. In no way do I condone what you have done but there is no point in dwelling on what is done. It is exactly that - done. Look how many people have posted on this forum over the years. Alot have gone through the turmoil you are going through now, they have received their sentence and then moved on.

You are worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet, and may not even be an issue. The extended course - you have convinced yourself already you won’t pass. Why? Will the determination to get back on the road not override any fear of not passing? I know everything seems pretty dire right now but time passes by, whether we like it or not, and soon this will be a lesson learned. A part of your past x
 

Claire121

Member
Hi to all reading this thread,

I will try to keep my paragraphs not so lengthy but at the same time try covering the points of what’s playing on my mind.I’m just wanting to rant and let it out as no one knows my situation but me.

We are all probably using this site for some sort of comfort or answers because the anxiety of knowing court is coming up and the chances of your license being gone for a while is high.

Wrong place, wrong time is how I can put my situation in the simplest way but I have no one to really blame but myself as I still chose to be behind the wheel. No one was hurt or no other car was collided. I just ended up hurting my own self and damaging my own car. So the person who’s suffering is myself but I should of known better.

My insurance is voided which means whatever I paid for the car is fully gone as the car is a write off so there was no other choice but to just let the compound crush it. I had to then pay on top to cancel my insurance but again there’s no one to blame but myself.

Money comes and goes but life doesn’t so I need to be grateful in a way because when I say the car was a write off I mean it and someone could of easily been there so imagine that. Sends shivers down me!

ANYWAYS back to the actual reason I’m writing.
Day by day my anxiety is getting worse and I’m growing hatred towards myself for my silly mistake as I worked so hard to get my license and save up for a car etc and for ONE stupid mistake I blew it. I crashed and someone reported it and only when speaking to the officer he then wanted to breathalyse me and I was 61.

I was going to go private with a solicitor but what’s the point when I did plead guilty so I’m just going to have to stick to a duty solicitor but I’m just so scared. I work in health and social and I’m SO SO SO terrified that what if my name and area goes on the local news because they do, do that. I have also moved away from home because of previous issues and if I’m on the local news with my name that will cause such safe guarding issues as my families faith they don’t accept alcohol. Is there nothing I can say in court or get my solicitor to do that could prevent this. Another thing that’s giving me such anxiety is needing to do the extended course if I get the ban which I probably will. It was so hard for me to pass there’s no way I could do an extended course. Also how would I ask for the rehab course? If I was 59 I would of got 12 months but I blew 61 so I could get like 18 months! There’s so much more things that’s keeping me off work and isolated but I will get into that once I start getting replies.

If you’ve made it this far. Thanks for listening to me rant x
Hello, you will probably get 18 month ban but this can be reduced by 25% if they offer you the course, and you will more than likely get a fine, this is what I had for my first offence of being double the limit, it’s more than likely to be in your local newspaper aswell, i know what your going through i was stupid enough to do it again while disqualified and have court in 2 weeks, you worry yourself sick with fear, you will be ok.
 

Alldaybreakfastin

Well-known member
Hi,

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Many of us are on here, I know it’s not much consolation but good people do make stupid mistakes.

I’m 1 month into my ban, and I’m not going to lie, it is very hard. I’d just got a good job which I think I’ve now lost, and my health, both physical and mental, has deteriorated as a result of the incident. I also relied heavily on my car due to physical mobility issues. However, it’s not forever, and you do adjust. How is public transport in your area? If you’ve only just got your car, maybe it won’t seem so alien to you to just go back to how you were before for about a year, which with the rehabilitative course is what it sounds like you’ll get to me.

Regards to your family, of course it’s a chance, especially if it was a nasty crash or you have an interesting story, but remember hundreds of people a week are through the courts for drink driving - so a lot of cases don’t make it into the papers too! Playing devils advocate a bit, if you are seriously worried, is there any way you would feel comfortable telling them beforehand? They may be more supportive than you think? Obviously only you know your situation but it can be a lonely time and if your family are willing to support you it will help.

With the anxiety, is it worth speaking to your GP if it’s really affecting you? I’ve had some strong medication for the initial shock of it, and then continued on beta blockers, which help to curb it a little. I understand it’s hard, I’ll still barely go into a shop. I feel like public enemy no 1... but it will get better. Things will change, things will be crap, but like you say, no one is hurt, money is paper and you have learnt your lesson.

Just one last thing, not sure what’s happening with you on the job front but I’d recommend telling them as soon as possible - transparency, honesty and integrity is valued, sometimes to the degree that it’s more important to them than the mistake.

My personal message is always open if you’re really at a low point. Chin up!
 

abigailjay

Member
Hi to all reading this thread,

I will try to keep my paragraphs not so lengthy but at the same time try covering the points of what’s playing on my mind.I’m just wanting to rant and let it out as no one knows my situation but me.

We are all probably using this site for some sort of comfort or answers because the anxiety of knowing court is coming up and the chances of your license being gone for a while is high.

Wrong place, wrong time is how I can put my situation in the simplest way but I have no one to really blame but myself as I still chose to be behind the wheel. No one was hurt or no other car was collided. I just ended up hurting my own self and damaging my own car. So the person who’s suffering is myself but I should of known better.

My insurance is voided which means whatever I paid for the car is fully gone as the car is a write off so there was no other choice but to just let the compound crush it. I had to then pay on top to cancel my insurance but again there’s no one to blame but myself.

Money comes and goes but life doesn’t so I need to be grateful in a way because when I say the car was a write off I mean it and someone could of easily been there so imagine that. Sends shivers down me!

ANYWAYS back to the actual reason I’m writing.
Day by day my anxiety is getting worse and I’m growing hatred towards myself for my silly mistake as I worked so hard to get my license and save up for a car etc and for ONE stupid mistake I blew it. I crashed and someone reported it and only when speaking to the officer he then wanted to breathalyse me and I was 61.

I was going to go private with a solicitor but what’s the point when I did plead guilty so I’m just going to have to stick to a duty solicitor but I’m just so scared. I work in health and social and I’m SO SO SO terrified that what if my name and area goes on the local news because they do, do that. I have also moved away from home because of previous issues and if I’m on the local news with my name that will cause such safe guarding issues as my families faith they don’t accept alcohol. Is there nothing I can say in court or get my solicitor to do that could prevent this. Another thing that’s giving me such anxiety is needing to do the extended course if I get the ban which I probably will. It was so hard for me to pass there’s no way I could do an extended course. Also how would I ask for the rehab course? If I was 59 I would of got 12 months but I blew 61 so I could get like 18 months! There’s so much more things that’s keeping me off work and isolated but I will get into that once I start getting replies.

If you’ve made it this far. Thanks for listening to me rant x
Hi
Sorry you feel this way, but just to put your mind at ease, I was banned less than 2 years after passing my test, and I don't have to resit it. As someone stated in your other post, unless you have 6 points or more within them 2 years, then it's more than likely you won't have to redo your test.
 
Last edited:

RSC

Well-known member
Hi
Sorry you feel this way, but just to put your mind at ease, I was banned less than 2 years after passing my test, and I don't have to resit it. As someone stated in your other post, unless you have 6 points or more within them 2 years, then it's more than likely you won't have to redo your test.
Hi R S (we almost have the same user name)

It seems like you have a lot going on at the moment. I don't think there is a person on here who hasn't regretted what they did and wonders why they did what they did. You could go around in ever decreasing circles but what happened - happened.

Regarding court - try to say as little as possible about your professional and family situation. What you don't say can't be reported. That's not to say don't express your obvious remorse and regret but don't spill everything. The magistrates are bound by sentencing guidelines which your total life story is highly unlikely to affect.

If your conviction - NOT the possible reporting of it - may have repercussions for your job, think about telling your employer before they find out some other way.

For what it's worth, I didn't tell anybody about my ban until it was removed. Each to their own. This place has been a real help to me and you will find some solid advice and support. Feel free to rant.
 

Louise 73

Active member
Hi R S (we almost have the same user name)

It seems like you have a lot going on at the moment. I don't think there is a person on here who hasn't regretted what they did and wonders why they did what they did. You could go around in ever decreasing circles but what happened - happened.

Regarding court - try to say as little as possible about your professional and family situation. What you don't say can't be reported. That's not to say don't express your obvious remorse and regret but don't spill everything. The magistrates are bound by sentencing guidelines which your total life story is highly unlikely to affect.

If your conviction - NOT the possible reporting of it - may have repercussions for your job, think about telling your employer before they find out some other way.

For what it's worth, I didn't tell anybody about my ban until it was removed. Each to their own. This place has been a real help to me and you will find some solid advice and support. Feel free to rant.
Hi, how did you manage to not tell anyone, the people who know you as a driver, the ones who when you arrange to meet up they're assuming you are going to be able to meet them there because you drive? I'm definitely not telling anyone, bearing the consequences is enough without having to worry about what ppl think but I just don't know what to say about why I'm not driving so I've completely isolated myself and try not to leave the house if it can be avoided. I was going to say I've injured myself but that's a lie I'm not going to be able to keep up with
 

Polly3

Well-known member
Hi, how did you manage to not tell anyone, the people who know you as a driver, the ones who when you arrange to meet up they're assuming you are going to be able to meet them there because you drive? I'm definitely not telling anyone, bearing the consequences is enough without having to worry about what ppl think but I just don't know what to say about why I'm not driving so I've completely isolated myself and try not to leave the house if it can be avoided. I was going to say I've injured myself but that's a lie I'm not going to be able to keep up with
Is everyone you know a saint, who has never done anything wrong ? I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the support and understanding you get. It doesn’t make what you have done right, but in my experience very few people stand in judgement. I’ve not gone round telling all and sundry, and I’m sure that some people who have found out may have gossiped about it. Good for them: I don’t care. I took control of what felt an overwhelming situation by deciding to tell who I wanted to. Also, why should you hide away?

Just think for a minute. If a friend of your disclosed that they had been arrested for drink driving, would you judge them harshly? I bet you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t condone it but I dare say if anything, you’d try to be helpful.
 

Louise 73

Active member
Is everyone you know a saint, who has never done anything wrong ? I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the support and understanding you get. It doesn’t make what you have done right, but in my experience very few people stand in judgement. I’ve not gone round telling all and sundry, and I’m sure that some people who have found out may have gossiped about it. Good for them: I don’t care. I took control of what felt an overwhelming situation by deciding to tell who I wanted to. Also, why should you hide away?

Just think for a minute. If a friend of your disclosed that they had been arrested for drink driving, would you judge them harshly? I bet you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t condone it but I dare say if anything, you’d try to be helpful.
I wouldn't care if it was just me but most ppl I have actual human contact with are based on being a mother to my 10 year old. It's not a pride thing, it's purely to protect my child. I can't have school mums gossiping
 

regretfulsoul

Active member
Hi, how did you manage to not tell anyone, the people who know you as a driver, the ones who when you arrange to meet up they're assuming you are going to be able to meet them there because you drive? I'm definitely not telling anyone, bearing the consequences is enough without having to worry about what ppl think but I just don't know what to say about why I'm not driving so I've completely isolated myself and try not to leave the house if it can be avoided. I was going to say I've injured myself but that's a lie I'm not going to be able to keep up with
In regards by not telling anyone, Iv just kept isolated. I live in a uni accommodation anyways and my car is normally in the car park, when the girls have tried reaching out iv just said iv not been well and have told some of them ‘ I was in a collision and never want to drive again’, I know it’s better being honest but right now I’m just trying to block it out.The job I have for placement iv given a sick note in as RTA. Maybe when I’m back I will speak to the leadership team.I feel maybe after court I can some what get on with my life again because right now it’s the anxiety of what if... x
 

regretfulsoul

Active member
Hi R S (we almost have the same user name)

It seems like you have a lot going on at the moment. I don't think there is a person on here who hasn't regretted what they did and wonders why they did what they did. You could go around in ever decreasing circles but what happened - happened.

Regarding court - try to say as little as possible about your professional and family situation. What you don't say can't be reported. That's not to say don't express your obvious remorse and regret but don't spill everything. The magistrates are bound by sentencing guidelines which your total life story is highly unlikely to affect.

If your conviction - NOT the possible reporting of it - may have repercussions for your job, think about telling your employer before they find out some other way.

For what it's worth, I didn't tell anybody about my ban until it was removed. Each to their own. This place has been a real help to me and you will find some solid advice and support. Feel free to rant.
What you’ve said about court I will take into account. Thankyou for giving me that bit of advice. Small things go a long way!, Also you said you didn’t tell anyone until it was removed, can I ask how long you was banned for? X
 

regretfulsoul

Active member
Hi
Sorry you feel this way, but just to put your mind at ease, I was banned less than 2 years after passing my test, and I don't have to resit it. As someone stated in your other post, unless you have 6 points or more within them 2 years, then it's more than likely you won't have to redo your test.
Hiya,
Thankyou for replying. The only down fall is I passed in September 2019 and it’s only May 2021 so my full two years aren’t up. I don’t know how much of a big difference that makes. I just hope the court doesn’t order a resit!
 

regretfulsoul

Active member
You are not the first to be caught drink driving and you won’t be the last. In no way do I condone what you have done but there is no point in dwelling on what is done. It is exactly that - done. Look how many people have posted on this forum over the years. Alot have gone through the turmoil you are going through now, they have received their sentence and then moved on.

You are worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet, and may not even be an issue. The extended course - you have convinced yourself already you won’t pass. Why? Will the determination to get back on the road not override any fear of not passing? I know everything seems pretty dire right now but time passes by, whether we like it or not, and soon this will be a lesson learned. A part of your past x
I agree. I need to just let it be and take it as a HARD lesson. Wait for court and take it from there. It’s just the build up of anxiety that doesn’t help but thankyou x
 

regretfulsoul

Active member
Hi,

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Many of us are on here, I know it’s not much consolation but good people do make stupid mistakes.

I’m 1 month into my ban, and I’m not going to lie, it is very hard. I’d just got a good job which I think I’ve now lost, and my health, both physical and mental, has deteriorated as a result of the incident. I also relied heavily on my car due to physical mobility issues. However, it’s not forever, and you do adjust. How is public transport in your area? If you’ve only just got your car, maybe it won’t seem so alien to you to just go back to how you were before for about a year, which with the rehabilitative course is what it sounds like you’ll get to me.

Regards to your family, of course it’s a chance, especially if it was a nasty crash or you have an interesting story, but remember hundreds of people a week are through the courts for drink driving - so a lot of cases don’t make it into the papers too! Playing devils advocate a bit, if you are seriously worried, is there any way you would feel comfortable telling them beforehand? They may be more supportive than you think? Obviously only you know your situation but it can be a lonely time and if your family are willing to support you it will help.

With the anxiety, is it worth speaking to your GP if it’s really affecting you? I’ve had some strong medication for the initial shock of it, and then continued on beta blockers, which help to curb it a little. I understand it’s hard, I’ll still barely go into a shop. I feel like public enemy no 1... but it will get better. Things will change, things will be crap, but like you say, no one is hurt, money is paper and you have learnt your lesson.

Just one last thing, not sure what’s happening with you on the job front but I’d recommend telling them as soon as possible - transparency, honesty and integrity is valued, sometimes to the degree that it’s more important to them than the mistake.

My personal message is always open if you’re really at a low point. Chin up!
Aw, I hope better days are to come for you!
I relied a lot on my car too, felt a little to impressed with myself as I was able to get to and back from placement which is an hour away from my uni accommodation. Guess I need to get off my high horse now and start looking at other ways to get there!
As for my anxiety I’m on medication that TRIGGER anxiety more it’s something a Dermotologist gave me which he monitors me on. I was reading other threads about anxiety and someone said mention it to your solicitor or say it yourself but then again I don’t feel it’s worth it and don’t want to mention too much in court?
 

Polly3

Well-known member
I wouldn't care if it was just me but most ppl I have actual human contact with are based on being a mother to my 10 year old. It's not a pride thing, it's purely to protect my child. I can't have school mums gossiping
I do understand and you must do what’s best for you without tying yourself up in knots . Please try to begin to forgive yourself .
 

abigailjay

Member
Hiya,
Thankyou for replying. The only down fall is I passed in September 2019 and it’s only May 2021 so my full two years aren’t up. I don’t know how much of a big difference that makes. I just hope the court doesn’t order a resit!
This is the exact same amount of time I'd been driving for before I was banned! Passed April 2018, banned Jan 2020 - I'd like to say I'm pretty sure you won't be ordered to resit, fingers crossed everything goes well for you
 

price1367

TTC Group
Hiya,
Thankyou for replying. The only down fall is I passed in September 2019 and it’s only May 2021 so my full two years aren’t up. I don’t know how much of a big difference that makes. I just hope the court doesn’t order a resit!
Unless you had a nasty accident, the court only usually consider ordering a retest in the first 2-3 months after a person had passed their test when they were caught, 19 months should be fine.
 

regretfulsoul

Active member
That gives me some sort of relief!
As it was just my car that’s a right off as idiot me didn’t see the bend. No claims were made and no one was hurt so hopefully fingers crossed should be okay
 

Luna2000

Well-known member
Hi to all reading this thread,

I will try to keep my paragraphs not so lengthy but at the same time try covering the points of what’s playing on my mind.I’m just wanting to rant and let it out as no one knows my situation but me.

We are all probably using this site for some sort of comfort or answers because the anxiety of knowing court is coming up and the chances of your license being gone for a while is high.

Wrong place, wrong time is how I can put my situation in the simplest way but I have no one to really blame but myself as I still chose to be behind the wheel. No one was hurt or no other car was collided. I just ended up hurting my own self and damaging my own car. So the person who’s suffering is myself but I should of known better.

My insurance is voided which means whatever I paid for the car is fully gone as the car is a write off so there was no other choice but to just let the compound crush it. I had to then pay on top to cancel my insurance but again there’s no one to blame but myself.

Money comes and goes but life doesn’t so I need to be grateful in a way because when I say the car was a write off I mean it and someone could of easily been there so imagine that. Sends shivers down me!

ANYWAYS back to the actual reason I’m writing.
Day by day my anxiety is getting worse and I’m growing hatred towards myself for my silly mistake as I worked so hard to get my license and save up for a car etc and for ONE stupid mistake I blew it. I crashed and someone reported it and only when speaking to the officer he then wanted to breathalyse me and I was 61.

I was going to go private with a solicitor but what’s the point when I did plead guilty so I’m just going to have to stick to a duty solicitor but I’m just so scared. I work in health and social and I’m SO SO SO terrified that what if my name and area goes on the local news because they do, do that. I have also moved away from home because of previous issues and if I’m on the local news with my name that will cause such safe guarding issues as my families faith they don’t accept alcohol. Is there nothing I can say in court or get my solicitor to do that could prevent this. Another thing that’s giving me such anxiety is needing to do the extended course if I get the ban which I probably will. It was so hard for me to pass there’s no way I could do an extended course. Also how would I ask for the rehab course? If I was 59 I would of got 12 months but I blew 61 so I could get like 18 months! There’s so much more things that’s keeping me off work and isolated but I will get into that once I start getting replies.

If you’ve made it this far. Thanks for listening to me rant x
I sympathise with you, I really do. I have been banned twice since 2016 with my current (and hopefully,) last ban expiring on 11 October this year.

My readings were 124 and 96.

I was not sentenced to take an extended test at the end of either of my bans, so I think that is unlikely. The extended test is normally reserved for anyone involved in a serious RTA where other people or property are injured.

Make sure that you lawyer requests the Drink Driver Awareness course before your sentencing as it cannot be applied retrospectively. This will take 25% off you ban. E.g. 20 months will be 15 months on completion.

Regarding the newspapers I am afraid their is nothing you can do about whether your case is reported or not. I did not crash or injure anyone else, but given my readings I was incredibly lucky that neither of my two cases were reported in the local newspaper. All you can do I am afraid is hope.

You should console yourself with the fact that up to 100,000 drivers every year are convicted of a DUI, so you are most definitely not alone.

If you work in Social Care and are professionally qualified then you will need to report this to your governing body (and obviously to your employer.)

Hopefully everything turns out for the best.
 
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