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Coping with other people !

Sophiecat7

Member
Hi ,
How do people cope with other peoples opinions of your conviction ?
The thought of being talked about and having people say i could have hurt someone is absolutely making me feel ill
Im not a strong person and i know people wont be able to help giving me their opinions.
Nobody is tougher on me than me.
xx
 

BigTom

Well-known member
Hi ,
How do people cope with other peoples opinions of your conviction ?
The thought of being talked about and having people say i could have hurt someone is absolutely making me feel ill
Im not a strong person and i know people wont be able to help giving me their opinions.
Nobody is tougher on me than me.
xx
Sophie, keep your head down for a short while but don't fully retreat. Yes you have made a mistake, but nothing can change that. The important thing now is the future - and you can change that. I promise you, people will not be talking about it as much as you think they are. It is really unlikely that anyone will actually confront you, anybody who knows you will more than likely show support and compassion. If anyone does say something, just agree with them and say how ashamed and remorseful you are - there is nothing that takes the wind out the sails of someone who is being confrontational more than agreeing with them!

As I say, the future is up to you. You can either go down the path of depression and anxiety and self loathing, or you can accept your misgivings and learn and grow. I would suggest looking at something called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT. Speak to your GP, or look for private sessions. You can also get books on it from Amazon. It is all about changing how you think of things, not dwelling on the past and looking at the here and now. It has turned my life around and I now find I am less self critical about the decisions I made in the past, but conscious of the decisions I make now.

I know it is really tough for you at the moment but you can, and will, turn it around.
 

C J 1980

Well-known member
Sophie

I call this the 'soap box' mentality. The only people who really have a right to criticise drink drivers are the ones who have lost loved ones because of drink driving.

From my own experience, I've not had any major issues, everyone has been understanding and respectful. I had one idiot voice his opinion shortly after my arrest - but he was soon put in his place. He thinks drink drivers are total scumbags - but yet the same human turd is a life long domestic violence abuser who has terrorised at least two ex-partners and has been in police custody for harassment. He's not killed anyone, so that's okay!!!

Drink drivers kill & hurt people - yes we do - but so do drivers that break the speed limit. How many times have non-drink drivers gone faster than they should or even picked up points on their licence? Drivers using mobile phones kill people - how many of us have done this in the past? Tired drivers kill people - Gary Hart caused one of the biggest rail disasters in the UK in 2001 because of at least 72 hours sleep depravation.

I think I've made my point here. Drink driving is morally wrong, but most people are not in a position to judge us and I quickly turn the tables if I am challenged. You will probably find most people are either not really interested or being done for drink driving is treated as a 'traffic' inconvenience not a criminal matter from alot of people's view point.

CJ
 

Sophiecat7

Member
Thankyou so much for your replies. Currently waiting for my solicitor to call. I feel a little better , youve really helped and i dont feel so desperately alone xxx
 

KillerT

Member
Sophie, keep your head down for a short while but don't fully retreat. Yes you have made a mistake, but nothing can change that. The important thing now is the future - and you can change that. I promise you, people will not be talking about it as much as you think they are. It is really unlikely that anyone will actually confront you, anybody who knows you will more than likely show support and compassion. If anyone does say something, just agree with them and say how ashamed and remorseful you are - there is nothing that takes the wind out the sails of someone who is being confrontational more than agreeing with them!

As I say, the future is up to you. You can either go down the path of depression and anxiety and self loathing, or you can accept your misgivings and learn and grow. I would suggest looking at something called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT. Speak to your GP, or look for private sessions. You can also get books on it from Amazon. It is all about changing how you think of things, not dwelling on the past and looking at the here and now. It has turned my life around and I now find I am less self critical about the decisions I made in the past, but conscious of the decisions I make now.

I know it is really tough for you at the moment but you can, and will, turn it around.
Hi BigTom, if she goes to her GP about mental health doesnt it back fire when she is due to reapply for her licence and has to complete the mental health section on the DR1 form, assuming she has been classed as HRO?
 

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Idiot1

Active member
Hey,
We all make mistakes what’s done is done and just be thankful you didn’t hurt anyone.
Most of the people I know found out in the local paper, I had planned on trying to hide it until then.

No one really said anything at the time however a guy I work with lost his sister, to a drunk driver; we had a few words and when he could see I was really ashamed and regretted myactions he came round and now we are fine.
Now time has passed most people I know take the Mick out of me.

however if I had of hurt someone then it wouldn’t have been a laughing matter.
 
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BigTom

Well-known member
Hi BigTom, if she goes to her GP about mental health doesnt it back fire when she is due to reapply for her licence and has to complete the mental health section on the DR1 form, assuming she has been classed as HRO?
Hi KillerT, mental health issues does not necessarily mean your licence will be refused. DVLA are trying to assess whether someone's mental health will affect their driving - a large number of people with depression and anxiety will find themselves 'self medicating' with excess alcohol intake. Obviously, if there is evidence that this is the case then DVLA will need reassurance that drink driving will not reoccur and may request evidence of drinking in moderation or total abstinence for a period of time. This may result in a classification of misuse which would then require 6 months abstinence/drinking within government guidelines. Seeking help for what Sophie has been through would not be unexpected. Having a dialogue with a GP with or without mental health issues will ensure that when it comes to renewing a licence, should the GP be contacted their notes are complete and up to date.
 

C J 1980

Well-known member
Killer T

The difference between alcohol dependancy and mental health is a little blurred unfortunately.

I had quite serious issues with alcohol a while ago, but as most on this forum will agree - alcoholism or alcohol abuse is a mental health disorder in its own right.

I have had depression and anxiety, but they have been caused by alcohol. I've never actually suffered from 'dry' mental health problems as such.

CJ
 
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