Caught. Twice the limit after being told to leave by my terminal Ill boyfriend

Convicted Driver Insurance

Patty1

Member
I’ve been incredibly incredibly stupid and I’m so ashamed and feel such an idiot.

Last week my boyfriend was diagnosed with incurable cancer. I went to his house on Friday to stay the weekend (30plus miles away). I found out he had been meeting and messaging another woman for the past few weeks and obviously I’m absolutely devastated. He basically told me he wouldn’t text her again and I have to put up and shut up. By 7 o’clock Saturday evening, I’d had two hours sleep the night before and hadn’t eaten since finding out about the affair and had at least 4 large glasses of wine. I asked him one question about the affair and he went mad and told me to leave. I was so far away from home and distressed and upset I didn’t even think and got in the car to drive home. After 10mins of driving the mist cleared and I realised what I was doing and pulled over straight way and called my parents for help. By the time they got the the police had found me and I blew 71. I was completely cooperative. Explained what had happened and why I had stopped etc. I have been released on bail pending court in three weeks time.

I’m a single mum of two children, Dad lives 7 hours away, I don’t have anyone to take them to school and on top of everything I’ll lose my job, I’m in so much debt, losing my job will mean I lose my house and god knows what will happen to the kids.


I’m dealing with the emotional fall out of what’s happened as well as my boyfriend of 4 years being told he’s going to die within the year.

I won’t be able to visit or care for him.

I’m just at a loss. Is there any small chance of me not getting banned?, has anyone experienced not being handed a ban?
 
Patty1 said:
I’ve been incredibly incredibly stupid and I’m so ashamed and feel such an idiot.

Last week my boyfriend was diagnosed with incurable cancer. I went to his house on Friday to stay the weekend (30plus miles away). I found out he had been meeting and messaging another woman for the past few weeks and obviously I’m absolutely devastated. He basically told me he wouldn’t text her again and I have to put up and shut up. By 7 o’clock Saturday evening, I’d had two hours sleep the night before and hadn’t eaten since finding out about the affair and had at least 4 large glasses of wine. I asked him one question about the affair and he went mad and told me to leave. I was so far away from home and distressed and upset I didn’t even think and got in the car to drive home. After 10mins of driving the mist cleared and I realised what I was doing and pulled over straight way and called my parents for help. By the time they got the the police had found me and I blew 71. I was completely cooperative. Explained what had happened and why I had stopped etc. I have been released on bail pending court in three weeks time.

I’m a single mum of two children, Dad lives 7 hours away, I don’t have anyone to take them to school and on top of everything I’ll lose my job, I’m in so much debt, losing my job will mean I lose my house and god knows what will happen to the kids.


I’m dealing with the emotional fall out of what’s happened as well as my boyfriend of 4 years being told he’s going to die within the year.

I won’t be able to visit or care for him.

I’m just at a loss. Is there any small chance of me not getting banned?, has anyone experienced not being handed a ban?
Click to expand...
Hi Patty1,

I'm so so sorry to hear what's happened. I don't have much advice to give but I just wanted to give you a massive virtual hug. We are all/have been in the same boat so you're in the right place for support.
I must say though that unfortunately as you'll have to plead guilty, without any exceptional circumstances (like the police didn't do their job correctly), you will get a ban. Ask the magistrates for the DD course that reduces your ban by 25%. For when you do get banned, do you have parents who live close by for help? Bus routes close by for the school run if it's not a walk away? Just things you have to try and think of and figure out.

Again, I'm so sorry xx
 
Guygibson said:
What you lot on about i said sorry to be the bearer of bad news 🤷
Click to expand...
It could have been said with a bit more ‘empathy’. This is a support forum.

You have probably pushed this person away at a critical point where they have all sorts going on and a court appearance.

If you can’t say something more sympathetically - don’t post.. It’s counterproductive. I’ve reported your post incidentally.
 
BigTom said:
Can't see the fuss myself. You were concise and to the point, but were 100% accurate. Some people really are snowflakes.... reporting is for abusive or inaccurate postings, not for showing a lack of empathy!
Click to expand...
I’m really surprised at you @BigTom you both sound like a couple of trolls.

OP has come to forum and told us their story. A little sympathy/empathy would go far. Anyone who has made this mistake knows what the process is like.

Like I said - if you haven’t got anything supportive to say don’t bother posting at all….
 
Reets said:
I’m really surprised at you @BigTom you both sound like a couple of trolls.

OP has come to forum and told us their story. A little sympathy/empathy would go far. Anyone who has made this mistake knows what the process is like.

Like I said - if you haven’t got anything supportive to say don’t bother posting at all….
Click to expand...
@Reets , what makes you the chooser of who posts what? If someone is looking for a pat on the head and a "..there there.." then this is clearly not the right place. If someone is looking for truth and guidance, then so be it - it may however be to the point and not what they want to hear though.

@Guygibson just said that they would be banned, I'm not sure why your knickers are so twisted about it? Perhaps if you can't be less wokeish, you should not bother posting at all.....
 
Reets said:
I’m really surprised at you @BigTom you both sound like a couple of trolls.

OP has come to forum and told us their story. A little sympathy/empathy would go far. Anyone who has made this mistake knows what the process is like.

Like I said - if you haven’t got anything supportive to say don’t bother posting at all….
Click to expand...
She asked a question i gave her a answer no abuse was given and reporting me well thats just sad and I hope the administration see that.
 
Guy is right! It’s not trolling it’s reality! Can’t baby people and say there, there everything going to be alright…seriously… Too many snow flakes on this forum nowadaysdays no point in sugar coating things up! It’s real life! And no one’s here to judge anyone or be horrible. I’ve been following this forum for about 10years. And yes I’m a seconded HRO. People can’t handle the truth. Until you can except you messed up than you can move forward! You can’t lie and cheat this system! Sorry this has happened to you but still you have committed offence…that’s facts! This might or would not go in your favour in fact it’s more of aggravating facts for the magistrates sorry to say…courts only deal in facts… if not we would all put our war stores to the courts and try to get off… get yourself good solicitor and legal aid if you can or get accepted for it. Good luck
🤞🏻
 
Jools91 said:
Guy is right! It’s not trolling it’s reality! Can’t baby people and say there, there everything going to be alright…seriously… Too many snow flakes on this forum nowadaysdays no point in sugar coating things up! It’s real life! And no one’s here to judge anyone or be horrible. I’ve been following this forum for about 10years. And yes I’m a seconded HRO. People can’t handle the truth. Until you can except you messed up than you can move forward! You can’t lie and cheat this system! Sorry this has happened to you but still you have committed offence…that’s facts! This might or would not go in your favour in fact it’s more of aggravating facts for the magistrates sorry to say…courts only deal in facts… if not we would all put our war stores to the courts and try to get off… get yourself good solicitor and legal aid if you can or get accepted for it. Good luck
🤞🏻
Click to expand...
No where I have I said I can’t handle the truth or I haven’t accepted that I’ve messed up at all. Be interesting to hear how all of you dealt with it and what exactly happened in your circumstance.

Thanks for your input and like everyone else, not answering the actual question that I asked. Just speculating.

Luck isn’t a factor. Like you said courts deal in facts. I’m due to get a driving ban for 18 months or more and I am dealing with it. Christ, its only been 24hrs
 
Samilewi said:
Hi Patty1,

I'm so so sorry to hear what's happened. I don't have much advice to give but I just wanted to give you a massive virtual hug. We are all/have been in the same boat so you're in the right place for support.
I must say though that unfortunately as you'll have to plead guilty, without any exceptional circumstances (like the police didn't do their job correctly), you will get a ban. Ask the magistrates for the DD course that reduces your ban by 25%. For when you do get banned, do you have parents who live close by for help? Bus routes close by for the school run if it's not a walk away? Just things you have to try and think of and figure out.

Again, I'm so sorry xx
Click to expand...
Thank you, yes, I’ve been having a good think about how I’m going to do things to cope and get through this. It’s not forever.

X
 
Reets said:
It could have been said with a bit more ‘empathy’. This is a support forum.

You have probably pushed this person away at a critical point where they have all sorts going on and a court appearance.

If you can’t say something more sympathetically - don’t post.. It’s counterproductive. I’ve reported your post incidentally.
Click to expand...
I agree that the advice may have been blunt but it was correct, not discourteous and so I’m not sure why it was reported ?
 
You will feel shitty and nervous until the court case, but once that's out the way and really there's nothing to worry about at court its just running through the motions you get your ban and fine then its a big relief and you make adjustments to your life and before you know it a month is 6 months 6 months is a year next thing you know your applying for your license back thats how it went for me anyway good luck and try not to worry. ✌
 
Patty1 said:
Thank you, yes, I’ve been having a good think about how I’m going to do things to cope and get through this. It’s not forever.

X
Click to expand...
You will get through it and your situation may well be citable as mitigation in court . A ban is inevitable as you’ve picked up , but the course will reduce it and no, it’s not forever . You have been having a dreadful time but the circumstances of many of us at the time of arrest was horrendous, so everyone understands. You will pick your way through it .
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Enter code DRINKDRIVING10 during checkout for 10% off
Top