Caught over the limit and I can't cope please help

Convicted Driver Insurance

Milly22

Well Known Member
Hello.

Having a really hard time here. I was arrested for being over the limit after crashing my car. I shouldn't have driven home. I've never been in trouble before and have had respectable professions which I won't be able to work in again.

Nobody else involved but car a write off. I was obviously breathalysed and blew 113, then 92 on the second one. My bloods have been sent off for testing as they said the station breathalyser wasn't being used due to covid so I have to wait for those the return to hear of a court date and what the bloods were.

I'm petrified. I've lost my job. I live in an area with barely any opportunities around and poor transport.

The traffic page on Facebook put a photo of my car online with identifiable features so I'm scared the neighbours might have seen it and recognised it. The post also said I was over 4 times the limit but that would be 140 :( there are lots of comments on there that make me want to die.

I have been struggling for a long time with alcohol so this has probably been a long time coming and the eye opener I needed to change my life but I am so scared.

I'm scared of where my life will go now. What jobs I will be able to get etc. I'm scared the newspapers will put my name in when my court case come up. I can't cope.
 
Unhappyforlife said:
Hello.

Having a really hard time here. I was arrested for being over the limit after crashing my car. I shouldn't have driven home. I've never been in trouble before and have had respectable professions which I won't be able to work in again.

Nobody else involved but car a write off. I was obviously breathalysed and blew 113, then 92 on the second one. My bloods have been sent off for testing as they said the station breathalyser wasn't being used due to covid so I have to wait for those the return to hear of a court date and what the bloods were.

I'm petrified. I've lost my job. I live in an area with barely any opportunities around and poor transport.

The traffic page on Facebook put a photo of my car online with identifiable features so I'm scared the neighbours might have seen it and recognised it. The post also said I was over 4 times the limit but that would be 140 :( there are lots of comments on there that make me want to die.

I have been struggling for a long time with alcohol so this has probably been a long time coming and the eye opener I needed to change my life but I am so scared.

I'm scared of where my life will go now. What jobs I will be able to get etc. I'm scared the newspapers will put my name in when my court case come up. I can't cope.
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Which abouts in the UK do you live? No need to be specific - just country - as sentencing guidelines vary.
 
RSC said:
Which abouts in the UK do you live? No need to be specific - just country - as sentencing guidelines vary.
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I live in England :( My depression has gone out of control and keep having break downs. I have had to move back in with my family for support with my mental health and stopping drinking.

I am so scared and I hate myself for letting things get to this.
 
As you've found this site, you will be able to see the likely ban etc lengths so ne need for me to repeat them. In England, the police have six months to press charges so you're in for a bit of wait I'm afraid.

You say you've lost your job, Is that because you need to drive for work? What makes you think you won't be able to work in the same fields as previously? Court reporting seems entirely random so try not to focus too much on that - easier said than done I realise. Also so many keyboard warriors on FB who write stuff online that they wouldn't ever say in real life.

Have you been in touch with your GP about your mental health? Quite a few people on here are in AA and find it helpful. Worth a try? If it all seems too overwhelming at any point, call the Samaritans in confidence on 116 123.

We've all been there and you'll find this place extremely non-judgemental and full of advice. Because of your reading, you will be classed as a HRO so need a medical before your licence is re-issued.
 
Hi,

Please try and keep your head up. I know right now it might feel like the end of the world but we all make mistakes. Do not let this define you as a person.
You have your family and this forum for support (exactly the same support I had and I am still here and still so grateful).

If you ever need to talk feel free message me or post here.
You are not alone, do not let it consume you.
You made a mistake and you will get passed this.

Kind regards,




Stu
 
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RSC said:
As you've found this site, you will be able to see the likely ban etc lengths so ne need for me to repeat them. In England, the police have six months to press charges so you're in for a bit of wait I'm afraid.

You say you've lost your job, Is that because you need to drive for work? What makes you think you won't be able to work in the same fields as previously? Court reporting seems entirely random so try not to focus too much on that - easier said than done I realise. Also so many keyboard warriors on FB who write stuff online that they wouldn't ever say in real life.

Have you been in touch with your GP about your mental health? Quite a few people on here are in AA and find it helpful. Worth a try? If it all seems too overwhelming at any point, call the Samaritans in confidence on 116 123.

We've all been there and you'll find this place extremely non-judgemental and full of advice. Because of your reading, you will be classed as a HRO so need a medical before your licence is re-issued.
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Yes I've looked into the bans and so forth. I keep getting terrified my bloods will somehow be higher and I'll be in even more trouble or threatened with prison.

Driving was my job yes :( in fact with the dr10 I will never be able to work in that field again. I am also a qualified teacher so I think I would struggle to get back into that field if I wanted to.

The engagement team and mental health services have both written to my gp and I am booking an appointment tomorrow to go through it. I have also been referred to an addiction centre which I will be using to help me cope with giving up drinking.

Thank you so much for being understanding. I haven't got out of bed today because I feel broken.
 
stu12341234 said:
Hi,

Please try and keep your head up. I know right now it might feel like the end of the world but we all make mistakes. Do not let this define you as a person.
You have your family and this forum for support (exactly the same support I had and I am still here and still so grateful).

If you ever need to talk feel free message me or post here.
You are not alone, do not let it consume you.
You made a mistake and you will get passed this.

Kind regards,




Stu
Click to expand...
Thank you. I am trying to tell myself it will all be okay and I will find a job that I can cycle or get the bus to.

I'm not a bad person at all and everybody who knows me is aware of this but I feel like I want to disappear from the planet and never see anybody again who isn't my family or boyfriend. They're the only people who know so far... As well as my old boss who is being supportive too.

I think when I go to court if there is any press in there I will crumble.

Thank you for these supportive words
 
Reading your posts it was only a matter of time before things came to a head. This maybe a blessing in the long run and get you the help you require. Many of us have been at rock bottom as you are feeling today and turned things around after some help and support please post on here as much as you want we are a friendly lot and will always reply with support and advise take care Les
 
99% forget about prison - wont happen. Also you might be pleasantly surprised about the results - from 113 to 92 sounds like the roadside machine wasn't working too well - its possible by the time they took blood yr levels may have dropped - ideally to below the breath equivalent of 87.5 which will means you wont be classified as HRO and getting your licence back will be a lot easier once the ban is done.
Fortunately no one was hurt and cars are just pieces of metal. However on that note - check the small print on your insurance policy as some companies will pursue you for the 3rd party costs - there are some horror stories about that on here, mainly involving Admiral.

I suspect once you have been to court you will be wondering what you were so worried about - it's not pleasant but over quickly and its quite methodical, dress well, apologise etc.

You were evidently of "good character" up to then and they do take that into account when imposing the penalties etc. I don't think it will necessarily mean you will be unable to teach again but I'm not an expert, others on here will know more.

it's good you are seeking help with alcohol - if you can mention this in court and don't forget to ask for the DD course as it will reduce the ban by 25%..

Last but not least, and, as mentioned above .. IGNORE FACEBOOK, full of toxic people with nothing better to do.

You will get through this .. Good luck!
 
Its a shitty time most of us here have been through in one way or another. I know it all seems dark at the moment but you will get through it when you eventually put your mind at ease. For many of us - certainly for me - once court was over, everything felt a lot better as it was then a case of getting on with things.

Luckily nobody was hurt, and assuming this has never happened before then as you can read here and on other pages in these forums going to prison is so unlikely to happen that its not worth worrying about.

Ignore Facebook if you can (personally I stopped using it donkeys years ago) as @jamesbrown1 said. I can't stand the bloody thing. I know its hard but try not to worry about the things you cannot control, they will be what they will be.

Your family and REAL friends will know the true you, the rest don't matter. You will soon be yesterdays news to everyone else who know about it, and the ones who don't need to know you don't have to tell.

Even in good times jobs come and go, you will find something in time.

Its not easy but it will get better, this is a temporary set back, look at it that way.

Use this forum, there are some wise old heads here, and you will not be judged if you need to get things off your chest, need advice or a friendly ear. One thing is for sure, you are not alone, and you can see that by coming here. This website helped get a lot of us cope better .....use it !

Let us know how you get along, and read the experiences of others here, you may find it helps.

Take care
 
Thank you everybody for all these reassuring things. I'm trying to come to terms with things slowly and figure out positive steps for after my court date.... It will be very hard and very different. I probably won't be able to afford car insurance after my ban is up either. My boyfriend said I won't be driving a car for at least 5 years....

I had some positive news about finding work nearby where I live however so that was good to hear.
 
Based on what you have told us so far, I would say your boyfriend is wrong....it will be a lot less than 5 years. I am sure someone here will be able to give you a better indication but I'd say maybe 2 years...but dont take my word for it
 
Gilln1 said:
Based on what you have told us so far, I would say your boyfriend is wrong....it will be a lot less than 5 years. I am sure someone here will be able to give you a better indication but I'd say maybe 2 years...but dont take my word for it
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It was more because he said my insurance would be about 5 grand 😔
 
Unhappyforlife said:
It was more because he said my insurance would be about 5 grand 😔
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i severely doubt it will be anything like that unless you drive a seriously flash car, I have a very quick, fairly expensive car and was pleased when the quote came in at a shade over £900. The thing that might end up being expensive though is your current insurer pursuing you for 3rd party costs including car hire etc from the accident. Best to check as they have been known to leave it till after your ban before coming after you for reimbursement.
 
Like I said earlier, try no to worry about things you can't control. You will be banned so try to level that in your head, Once your ban is coming to an end you can think about things like cars and how much the insurance will be. Again people here will be able to give you advice but insurance prices are based on a number of aspects, so unless your boyfriend is an insurance broker then maybe best to leave leave that conversation for now, because without wishing to sound to blunt, it is irrelevant because you won't be driving for a while.
 
You will get 2yrs tops try to think of it as a wake up call to your drinking I was in exactly the same position as you 2ys ago and decided thats it I am done with alcohol and started my journey with secular AA 2yrs without any alcohol now and I am actually thankful of that night I got in my car and drove nobody has died and it got me clean and sober good luck on your journey and like everyone has said once you have been to court its a big weight off your shoulders good luck and chin up ✌
 
First thing I'd suggest is to change your username! I know it's hard now, but some good will come of this. It's probably impossible to believe right now, but it will. If I'm anything to go by, you'll enjoy your new job more than you did your last one. A lot of positives will hopefully come from the horrible sitution you're currently in.
 
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